The fragility of life

[Sean Pa]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006050280,00.html
The girl in the article is the daughter of my shift opposite number at work. The death has obviously devestated the family. The reason for posting is a selfish one on my behalf, But Dave is due to take over from me on Friday Morning, His 1st day back after several weeks off work.
I amm utterly usless with situations like this and immensly gramatically clumbsy.
How do I approach this matter without making his day painfull.
I was thinking of not mentioning anything and doing a normal shift handover, but have the fear of appearing heartless.
Any thoughts

[reason]

I'm not very good in those circumstances, either. If you're not very good at speaking directly, maybe you can send them a card offering condolences.

[Anton von Stockhoff]

I have found an unsolicited hug can say more than 1,000 words. Just so he knows you care, and are there for him is all that matters.

[cincygreg]

Dont force the issue. Welcome him back to work and let him know that if he wants to chat that you're there for him. Then go about your normal routine. He's probably looking for some normalcy at work due to the tragedy he's dealing with at home. Maybe take him out for a pint or two and make sure that you keep things light so that he feels ok with doing that and that he can open up when he feels like it.

[Sean Pa]

Thanks Chaps [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[Sluggo]

Sean Pa - I wasn't able to pull up the article but I think he is dealing with a death of someone close. I think if you tell him "I am so very sorry" & give him a hug that will do the trick.
I am not good with verbalizing my feelings but I am told that I write about things very well so I usually write a note to anyone that I want to comfort.

[gae]

I'll echo what the others have said, with this caveat. Losing a child is the worst pain imaginable. Please don't pretend that it didn't happen, because that negates his daughter's life.

If you're close enough, offer to stand him a pint on the weekend or offer inclusion in something you and your mates do. The man is going to try as hard as he can, but I'd also suggest that you and your other co-workers check and then double check his work, quietly. He'll never be 100% again. I'm not sure exactly WHAT you do, but you all should be prepared to pick up the slack for a bit.

The only other thing I can add, SeanPa, is to hug your little rug rats (affectionate American term) and remember how lucky you (and the rest of us) are.

[Sean Pa]

Thanks All good advice [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]
You should know though that Brit adults dont do hugs,and same sex hugging is a big nono.(what do you think we are French) Its a national trait probably from the stiff upper lip era of the war. Strange I know, but hey you can change your friends but not your country.

I think Greg you really hit the nail on the head with the normality thing, Knowing Dave I think that would be spot on.

Thanks again chaps/esses